Shards of Akar

2011-10-13T17:07:00.002+08:00

"Joshie"

Complete three rounds for time of:
40 pound Dumbbell snatch, 21 reps, right arm
21 L Pull-ups
40 pound Dumbbell snatch, 21 reps, left arm
21 L Pull-ups

Eternal Salvation

2011-05-27T21:09:00.002+08:00

For time:
Run as far as possible.
Until your muscles pump battery acid and each breath dries the air around you.
Then Run some more.

Livin' On a Prayer

2011-02-26T13:09:00.003+08:00

Whooah, we're halfway there.
Whooah, Livin' on a prayer.
Take my Hand and we'll make it I Swear.
Whooah, Livin' on a prayer...

One miracle at a time.

2011-02-24T20:24:00.003+08:00

One goddamn miracle at a time. Its how this past week is unfolding.
Will I get enough to see me through? How far will this trickle of miracles take me?

I figure it doesnt matter. Where the yellow brick road stops, i start building with any other brick i can find. After that I'll settle for hammering a dirt path with my bare hands.

Back to december all the time

2011-02-24T20:23:00.000+08:00

Buddha's Feet

2011-02-22T11:06:00.000+08:00

Rays of Dissonance

2011-01-24T23:07:00.003+08:00

Absolute Dissonance requires an absolute bridge to gap the divide. However in reality only on of the above exists.

In the realm of cognition, the bridge is known as rationalization. Rationalization is an amalgamation of justifications, lies and blaming. Also involved are paradigm shifts in attitudes, beliefs and actions that meld the whole together.

The mind's only failing is in not knowing that infinity cannot be achieved. Thus it will make every attempt to reduce dissonance. Going to no end to bridge the chasm.
At first such an attempt is well constructed, well defined.
However as the supplies run dry, the mind will will grasp at any method and material in order to continue this unattainable construct.
The structure soon burdens itself. Instead of resources directed at gap bridging, what scarce resources remain suddenly become devoted to maintaining structural integrity.

Failure arises when either A, there structure finally collaspes when it can no longer maintain structural intregity or it reaches critical mass and collaspes into a gravitional singularity.
B, the mind exhausts its last available resource in futile attempts at bridging impossible gaps.

The result remains the same, the dissonance remains. Finally a concious shift takes place, embracing the dissonance for what it really is. Or a complete change in beliefs or attitudes, removing the dissonance.

Unless it doesnt. Unless it does.

Awakening and The Rebellion

2010-11-09T20:42:00.001+08:00

Suffering and Enlightenment

2010-08-08T18:05:00.005+08:00

With a continuously running clock, squat for 60 seconds. Subtract the number of squats completed from 60, and do that many pull-ups in minute two. In minute three, squat again, subtracting the number completed from 60. Do that number of push-ups in minute four. Minute five is squatting again, and minute six pull-ups.

The pattern is squats, pull-ups, squats, push-ups, squats, pull-ups, etc. The goal is to stay within the workout's formula for as long as possible.

Don't do more than 60 squats in any round.

----

Three rounds for time of:
Walking lunge, 50 meters
Standing broad-jump, 100 meters
Run 200 meters

----

Three rounds for time of:
Walk on hands, 100 feet
Hold handstand against wall for two minutes
15 Handstand push-ups

Post total time to comments MINUS the six minutes of static handstands.

----

Five rounds, each for time of:
20 Pull-ups
30 Push-ups
40 Sit-ups
50 Squats

----

"Jackie"

1000 meter row
45 pound Thruster, 50 reps
30 pull-ups

----

"Wilmot"

Six rounds for time of:
50 Squats
25 Ring dips

----

Suffering and Salvation

2010-07-27T22:02:00.005+08:00

For time:
25 Squats
25 Push-ups
25 Pull-ups
25 Sit-ups
50 Squats
50 Push-ups
50 Pull-ups
50 Sit-ups
75 Squats
75 Push-ups
75 Pull-ups
75 Sit-ups

*

"Linda"

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 reps of the triplet:

Deadlift: 1 1/2 body weight
Bench press: body weight
Clean: 3/4 body weight

Set up three bars and storm through for time.

*

Tabata Row
Rest 1 minute
Tabata Squat
Rest 1 minute
Tabata Pull-up
Rest 1 minute
Tabata Push-up
Rest 1 minute
Tabata Sit-up

The Tabata interval is 20 seconds of work followed by 10 seconds of rest for 8 intervals.

*

"Angie"

For time:
100 Pull-ups
100 Push-ups
100 Sit-ups
100 Squats

*

"Cindy"
Complete as many rounds in 20 minutes as you can of:
5 Pull-ups
10 Push-ups
15 Squats

OR

"Mary"
Complete as many rounds in 20 minutes as you can of:
5 Handstand Push-ups
10 One legged squats, alternating
15 Pull-ups

*

For time:
100 squats
2 muscle-ups
80 squats
4 muscle-ups
60 squats
6 muscle-ups
40 squats
8 muscle-ups
20 squats
10 muscle-ups

*

400 meter Walking lunge

*

Row 1K
40 pound Dumbbell snatch, 50 reps
Row 750m
40 pound Dumbbell snatch, 35 reps
Row 500m
40 pound Dumbbell snatch, 20 reps

These are one-arm squat snatches, alternating arms.

*

Walking lunge 100 ft.
21 Pull-ups
21 Sit-ups
Walking lunge 100 ft.
18 Pull-ups
18 Sit-ups
Walking lunge 100 ft.
15 Pull-ups
15 Sit-ups
Walking lunge 100 ft.
12 Pull-ups
12 Sit-ups
Walking lunge 100 ft.
9 Pull-ups
9 Sit-ups
Walking Lunge 100 ft.
6 Pull-ups
6 Sit-ups

*

With a continuously running clock do one pull-up the first minute, two pull-ups the second minute, three pull-ups the third minute... continuing as long as you are able.

Use as many sets each minute as needed.

*

"Murph"

For time:
1 mile Run
100 Pull-ups
200 Push-ups
300 Squats
1 mile Run

Partition the pull-ups, push-ups, and squats as needed. Start and finish with a mile run. If you've got a twenty pound vest or body armor, wear it.

*

Hahahahahaha

2010-06-18T00:32:00.002+08:00

I laugh.
Because someone shared a little secret with me.
I find it fucking hilarious.
In the kind of dark comedic way that I enjoy so much.
You'd laugh too, if you heard it.

maybe not

2009-12-08T17:31:00.001+08:00

Ends and Genesis

2009-04-11T15:32:00.000+08:00

Everything that has a beginning has an end. We say hello, we say good bye. We live, we die. The circle completes itself.
So too does our short stay here in this place we call republic polytechnic. Just like life. It was a little too short. But with ending, we find new beginnings. So to all the people that I've known, this is good bye.

Actually not all of you. But the truth is, some of us will grow distant. My wish is that however far we may go, whereever you may be, perhaps we will say hi if we bump into each other. Maybe laugh about times gone by...

To those I may have wronged, here is my sincere apology, my request for forgiveness and a chance to right my wrongs. At the very least I ask you understand that I am only human, try as I may otherwise...

To those who have wronged me, I don't hold grudges. May we call it brutally and mutually buried.

I just want to take this moment to say thank you to all my course mates. You've made my stay that much bearable, that much easier, much more fun, much more memorable. Or at the very least much more interesting. Life in RP would have been a lot more dull if not for all of you. Cheers, thanks for everything. It meant a lot to me.

To all my fyp mates, it has been a joy working with all of you. We all put in our share of blood and tears, had our share or laughter and fun. For all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right to deserve such great teams. I only hope I've brought you as much fun, joy, pain and tears as you've brought me.

To the ones I call friends, thank you so much. For the fun we've been through, the cheers we've shared and the memories that will stay with me for a life time to come. I hope we'll continue to keep in touch. Continue being friends. Even if it doesn't happen, I just want you to know that just like life, it's not the length of time in a friendship that makes it important, it's the strength of the friendship that counts. Thank you.

For my facilitators, You've challanged my views and allowed me to return the favour. You've made me dig deeper than I ever dug before. I've seen some things that should probably remain unseen. I've also found priceless treasures and wonders of my own world. More importantly, you've led me out of egypt and slavery. Led me through the desert and to the top of the mountain. You've shown me, my promise land. The best part is, I love the view. If I never make it there, I will remember this view forever. And I will remember you.

I must mention 2 names. Of all the impacts on my cratered life, you two have sculpted me the most in my stay here.

Stephanie and Chronos.

Here is my last RJ. I hope you enjoy Reading it. I would give up my seat in a university to sit in both your classes one final time.
I wish there is some way I can repay you for all that you've done for me.

Chronos,
Thanks man. If there were one song I'd use to describe you, it would go something like "Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy me!". But seriously. You are fun and insightful at the same time. Not many explain lessons as clearly and as thoroughly. Oh and more importantly thanks for pushing me to complete my PP. That meant a lot to me. Thanks for being my first DIEM facilitator.

Stephanie,
Thank you for igniting my passion for psychology. I can seem to get enough of it. So much so, that I'm off to pursue a degree in it. You've been like both a mother and a friend to me. Your classes are always fun and thought provoking. I'd like to think I learned a lot from your lessons.
Thank you.

Thanks once again everyone.

"I hope you find what it is you are looking for. If you're not sure how to get there, just follow the yellow brick road. It will bring you to where your heart wants to go. If like me, you find there is no yellow brick road for where you want to go, then do what I do. I'm building my own brick road.

I'll see you at the end of the road.
We're off to see the wizard!" - Sean Michael Yip

2009-02-10T00:22:00.002+08:00

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be.
There's no time limit, stop whenever you want.
You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing.
We can make the best or the worst of it.
I hope you make the best of it.
And I hope you see things that startle you.
I hope you feel things you never felt before.
I hope you meet people with a different point of view.
I hope you live a life you're proud of.
And if you find that you're not,
I hope you have the strength to start all over again. "- Benjamin Button

The Distance

2009-01-06T02:15:00.004+08:00

It's not often I write like this. I'm lying here on my bed, having trouble sleeping.
It's cause the future is clouded, I know where my place is physically.
But that's not what's bothering me. It's not the things we know that
scare us, it's what we don't know that we most fear. I act like I don't care
because I want to be strong for you. What good is your guardian angel paralyzed
by fear?

Know this, I'm scared too, because the future can be so scary. The darkness can be
blinding. The clouds are looking too gray for rainbows and sunshine. The night is falling.
But I also know this, the night is darkest before the day. The morning will come, the sun
will shine brighter than it did before. The future may be scary but it can also be exciting.
Every darkened sky, has a shining ray. Every endless night has a dawning day.

Know this, I'll be here for you. I don't care where the future takes us or where the
yellow brick road goes. As long as I'm with you. We'll face the future together.

So meet me halfway... Across the sky, up where the earth belongs to you and I.

Ideals that have shaped my life, Part 1

2008-11-12T00:12:00.004+08:00

Just figured this would give me something to write. Maybe I can keep my updates more regular.
This is just a list of some of the Quotes, Stories, Movies, Thoughts and Experiences that have more or less shaped my life or defined the way I choose to live.

"Fight Club" - Great movie, even greater philosophy. Shut up about the irony of a movie preaching about anti-consumerism. It does make you think, it made me think, what are we living our lives for? Are we really making our lives better? What is our definition of better anyway? More? Bigger? Shinier? Faster?

"Conversations with God 1-3" - If you don't read this, you don't know what you're missing out. But the key concepts are these;
1. We are all one
2. There is Enough
3.There is nothing we "have" to do

We exist so that we may experience ourselves for who we truly are. The choices we make, the things we do, are our expressions of ourselves. We are free to choose, what is our grandest vision of ourselves?

"Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive anyway." - How true... Some people take the smallest things way too seriously. Is that all our life really is about? Isn't it time you got about to doing something meaningful and worth while?

Time traveller

2008-07-28T13:30:00.003+08:00

What if you could go back in time? Relive your memories as you knew them, right your wrongs, become your own forgiveness for your sins. What if the means of time travel is not a machine but a person?

What if ever time you saw this person you were reminded of your past? Each stare brings you back to a time, not so long ago when your heart battered out its first beat. When you first felt that snag, like you're a fish who just bit the hook. But it also makes you remember, you hated this person. The feeling was mutual, so it never amounted to anything.

Nevermind that, that look back into the past was fun enough, but it reminds you of something else.
How can you keep this up? Its been 2 years at least, soon or later we all have to exorcize our demons. Without your demons, where do you find the fuel to burn that fire in your soul? What if you begin to realize you're nothing without your demons?
Fire burns your body, Hellfire burns your soul and that happens to be exactly whats needed.

What is the measure of a man?

2008-06-16T22:06:00.003+08:00

"What is the measure of a man? Is it the fruits of this labor or the secrets of his heart?"-Yinsin from the movie "Iron Man"

And so the man said to me as he parted:"Thank you, you've saved me." He bowed to me and I bowed back.

If someone is saved by our actions are we considered heroes? What is the definition of a hero anyway?
The literal meaning of the word is Protector, Guardian or Defender. If we look at it from that point of view, then in protecting someone's life we are made heroes.
There is the saying too, that a hero is someone who dares to do something that others wouldn't do in the same situtation. But just because I decide that I'd pee on the sidewalk in front of a police officer doesn't mean that makes me a hero does it?
Or is a hero an ordinary person forced to do extraordinary acts because of extraodinary situations?

But what if we did nothing but ended up saving someone? Are we still considered heroes then? We still saved a life but does it still count? Does being a hero mean we have to expand large amounts of energy before we earn our title?

Possesion

2008-03-03T20:34:00.001+08:00

Its like a dark black chain, it keeps you tied to a stake.
Its supposed to stop you from running into the street and getting hit by a car.
But its long since outlived it purpose, supposing it had one in the first place.

You dread it because in the heat of the day, it burns your skin
and in the cold of the night, it freezes like its made of ice.
But then you wish it really was made of ice, perhaps then,
it would be a little easier to break it and run free.

A prison built to hold criminals gets broken eventually.
A wall built to keep out invaders gets broken too.
A chain built to hold love down, doesn't.

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

2008-02-03T00:13:00.000+08:00

"Never leave anyone behind", thats my philosophy.
Why is it this world is built upon the doctrine that in order to succeed, someone else has to get the short end of the stick?
We live in a world where there is more than enough to go around, yet there are people who starve while others can choose to throw food out the window. While people starve, crops are allowed to rot on the fields so that people can earn a few extra cents instead of dropping the price.

We look at this and despise it, yet we don't even start with ourselves and we expect the world to change?
If we can sell each other out like no one's business, there isn't much hope for this world...

My theory is that we for some reason feel that we're significant. We feel that we're actually important or something, that our lives mean anything in the grander scheme of things. Therefore we have some unwritten right to step over people and throw people aside to get what we want.
I'd like to challange that view, we're really not all important, we're really nothing at all. Allow me to illustrate my point.

Heres another insight worth taking a look at:http://elronsviewfromtheedge.wordpress.com/2006/07/13/feeling-insignificant-yet/

Really puts things into perspective, at least for me...

Better to Die on your feet, than to Live on your Knees

2007-12-10T19:06:00.000+08:00

How true...

R is for regret

2007-10-19T08:58:00.000+08:00

The gap between one's ideal self-image and actual self-image is guilt.
Everytime our thoughts or actions do not bring us closer to our ideal self image, guilt manifests.
I think i took one step away from my ideal self image...

R is for regret. I could have changed something but didn't. The outcome wouldn't have been as such, but I didn't. I listened to the wrong person. I should have been stubborn like I always have been. I gave in to the wrong person on the wrong day. Now I'm paying for it.

Its like a bad song that won't go away, it keeps playing and playing over and over again in my head. Its worst when you know you had to power to make a difference but didn't. You stood by and watched. Now its not going to get out of your head. It compels you to do something. To do something stupid. Not that it makes a difference, but because its a test of theory, do two wrongs make a right?

I know Violence isn't the answer, I chose wrong on purpose.

Worry not...

2007-09-30T21:41:00.000+08:00

You worry, but I say don't.

Don't' worry about never seeing me again.
Don't worry about me getting pulled away from you.

Don't worry because I've had just about enough of this shit.
I'm not going to put up with this anymore. Kapeesh?
What guarantee do I have that you won't pull the same shit on me?
None. So maybe when you've finally decided let your level of maturity
show your real age, then maybe we can talk.
Maybe its time to think about others too huh?

My parting words are, Your actions have consequences. Time to take some fucking responsibility for them. You were free to choose and you did. Now lie in it.

2007-09-26T00:50:00.001+08:00

Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life.
Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments?
Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read?
Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want?
Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex
. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight.
Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned.

Question #8825:

2007-08-25T23:52:00.000+08:00

"Do we do good deeds because it is in ourselves to such acts or are our deeds motivated by some form of reward either perceived or otherwise?"

Lets first consider the question, what is a good deed? Is a deed good because of its intentions? Or because of its outcome? For the sake of this arguement, lets just say that a good deed is good because it provides some form of benefit to whom ever the deed is directed at, without too much negative impact on others. What the intention is of little importance because good intentions can go wrong.

Now, what motivates people to perform such deeds?

Karma, We do something good, so that the universe will do something good for us?

Salvation, We do a good deed so that we may buy into God's good books?

Favour, We do a good act so that the person who so benefitted from us will feel compelled to return our act?

Vocation, We do it because we are paid or its written in our job scope?

Pressure, we are forced to do an act so that our peers may think more highly of us?

Intangiable Reward, we hope that there is something to gain out of our kind act?

What about good deeds, seeking no reward or compensation? Does anyone truly do this?Answer the question honestly. When I say seeking no reward or compensation, you do a good deed because it is a good deed, because it is what you want to do? No reward or compensation is expected, in fact you expect that because of your good deed you will suffer a loss.

How many such good deeds have you done?

I'll be honest, not many. The Six motivations I have stated earlier are my own motivations, my own reasons for why I choose to do certain things. Is it still good because I had an incentive to do it? Or does that wash it all away?
But I will say, I have done things and expected nothing, gained nothing. Not that I have regretted any of them.

Just a rant, while spending another sleepless night ...

Punchline

2007-07-04T01:16:00.001+08:00

Its really been a while,
You think its time to get at it again?
I think so.

The question is: "Are you mother******* ready for the new shit?"

Time to get serious again.
One month might not be very long but its enough.
If I'm serious enough.
I think I am. Are you?

Listen to the Rhythm of the Falling Rain

2007-06-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

I always say it never mattered.
Its the natural cycle of life
I always thought it wouldn't affect me.
Its what we all come to
I said I'd never fear it.
Its the only way
I still don't.
It happens to us all, sooner or later
I still don't.
Its just the way things are
But with the people you care about.
No way, but the highway
Its not the same thing anymore.
Down a way track
You don't think the same way when its about teh people you care for.

Redemption, I think

2007-06-18T00:18:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking in terms of redemption.
Not revenge or vengence.

I'm thinking in terms of redepmtion.
Second chances, one more try.

I'm thinking in terms of redemption.
Another chance, to do the things we felt were right
but never did.
Either cause we were too afraid or because of some
twist of fate.
To right the wrongs we've done to others, upon others.

Redemption,
Trying not to screw up again, while you try to make things right.
Like reincarnation, just not as long a wait.
Attempting to earn your place back in god good books.

This is YOUR LIFE.

2007-06-17T23:54:00.000+08:00

And you open the door and you step inside
Where inside our hearts
Now imagine that your pain is a white ball of healing light
That's right-your pain, the pain itself is a white ball of healing light

I don't think so

This is your life
Good to the last drop
It doesn't get any better than this
This is your life and its ending one minute at a time

This isn't a seminar
This isn't a weekend retreat
Where you are now
You can't even imagine what the bottom will be like
Only after disaster can we be resurrected
Its only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything
Nothing is static
Everything is evolving
Everything is falling apart

This is your life
It doesn't get any better than this
This is your life
And its ending one minute at a time

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake
You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else
We are all part of the same compost heap
We are the all singing, all dancing crap of the world

You are not your bank account
You are not the clothes you wear
You are not the contents of your wallet
You are not your bowel cancer
You are not your grande latte
You are not the car you drive
You are not your fucking khakis

You have to give up
You have to give up
You have to realise that someday you will die
Until you know that, you are useless.

I say never let me be complete
I say may I never be content
I say deliver me from Swedish furniture
I say deliver me from clever art
I say deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth
I say you have to give up
I say evolve, and let the chips fall where they may.

This is your life
Doesn't get any better than this
This is your life
And its ending one minute at a time

You have to give up
You have to give up
I want you to hit me as hard as you can
Welcome to Fight Club
If this is your first night, you have to fight

Where is my mind?

2007-06-17T23:09:00.000+08:00

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
If there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself
Where is my mind?

I've been thinking and worrying.
More like worrying.
Where is my mind?

Thinking about all the times,
in the Carribean
Animals were hiding behind the rock
Except the little fish
But they told me,
Try this trick and spin it.
You'll have a collaspe...

Fight Club

2007-06-15T23:21:00.000+08:00

"Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes,
working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need.

We're the middle children of history man.
No purpose or place,
we have no great war, no great depression.
Our great war's a spiritual war,
our great depression is our lives.

We've all been raises on television ot believe
one day we'll all be millionaires, movie gods and rockstars.
But we won't and we're slowly learning that fact.
We're very VERY pissed off."

-Tyler Durden, Fight Club

By the Way

2007-06-15T00:13:00.001+08:00

By the way I tried to say I'd be there...

This one is for all the people who couldn't check out my drafts.
But I think this is relevant to everyone.

When we take for granted what we have,
we make believe what we have is written in stone.
We make believe that we'll always have each other no matter what.
Then the Shit hits the fan and we stop caring.

I think I've come to learn, that what we have, may not see tomorrow.
I think I've come to understand that each moment spent, should be treasured.
I think I've come to know, that each day we're together is another day we've been blessed with.

This is just a shout out to the people I call my friends, to the ones I love.
Cheers. To the moments we've shared, happy and sad. To the memories that are yet to be.
Till we meet again. Adios Muchachos.

With words I thought I'd never speak

2007-05-31T23:45:00.000+08:00

In the end, all we really are is dust in the wind,
Every Mile we walked will count for nothing.
Far away Into the sky, is that where we will fly?
Will our deeds Stay in memory?
Or will they fade into Space? The endless darkness of it all...

Yesterday I dreamed of the stars in the sky.
Today, Outside they lay, reminding me of you.
And here, Underneath the blanket of the night sky,
I long to hold your hand... To hear the words I
never thought i'd hear.

Oh noes...

2007-05-29T20:56:00.000+08:00

Don't you just hate it when I'm right?
I mean, how bloody accurate can one get?
I'd say its good enough that if you equated this to roulette,
You'd have made money off number 20, red.

Then again, I hope to hell that my other predictions aren't.
Because if what i've pointed out is right, then you probably
don't have very much time left. Not much at all. Two months?
Give or take a few days. Better make the best of it. Or do something
about it. Because our fates aren't written into stone.

"The future is not set. There is NO FATE but what we make for ourselves." -John Connor

Paying the Piper

2007-05-24T21:40:00.000+08:00

Have you paid the piper yet?
No? Don't worry. He'll come by colleting his dues.
One way or the other, if you owe the pied piper,
you'll pay.
It might just cost you dearly.
So if you owe the pied piper,
Better pay up soon.
Or you'll be paying a whole lot more than you bargained for.
Because the Piper, Always gets paid.

Guns 'N Roses

2007-05-21T23:53:00.000+08:00

Everyone needs love
You know that it's true
Someday you'll find someone
That'll fall in love with you
But oh the time it takes
When you're all alone
Someday you'll find someone
That you can call your own
But till then ya better...
Now you're clean
And so discreet I won't say a word
But most of all this song is true
Case you haven't heard
So c'mon and stop your cryin'
'Cause we both know money burns
Honey don't stop tryin'
And you'll get what you deserve.
oh, by the way, you're supposed to find the title of this song

Well, well, well, you just can't tell
Well, well, well, My
Well, well, well, you never can tell
Well, well, well, My

Don't you know that all my heroes died?

2007-05-20T13:50:00.000+08:00

And I guess I'd rather die than fade away.
__________________________________

Sometimes when we talk, it seems to me like I'm the one doing all the talking.
Sometimes, I wonder if you even hear me.
Its like you're not even there.
Not even when I'm most in need.

But in the end you always answer.
And when you do, it makes the most sense.

What I like best though, is that
you make me find the answers by myself.
Just how I like to do it.

Ever notice how the only time we talk is when I
find myself knee deep in shit?
I wanna try to avoid that.

Thanks for listening,
Shard

Providence, Fate, Destiny, Luck, Chance, Kismet, Fortune

2007-05-16T23:43:00.000+08:00

Real funny man.
I like how you pulled that off from right under my nose.
Smooth Move.

Its like you were planning it all along. Distracting me from the bigger picture time and again.
And when I least expect it, POW! There it is. Thank you Class, lesson has ended. Hope to see you again soon.

Next Week's Lesson,
Grounding Currents
Ohms Law
Direct/Alternating Currents

They say Experience is the harshest of teachers, She gives you the tests first then the lessons later. I say she does a damn fine job.

Anyways talk later.
Thanks.

If you Believe its in my Soul

2007-05-14T23:33:00.000+08:00

3 issues for the price of one. Consider yourself lucky.

This First Monarch
Is for the man I thought I once knew.
For all the things i thought i knew about you,
you proved me all wrong.
Nice going. You're becoming someone i can't recognise.
I don't know why you've changed but you have.
Maybe we both know the source of the problem.
Maybe for you its was never a problem in the first place
Why should it be a problem? Since it brings you so much joy.

The Second Illusion
Is for the rattling and the squeaking of the wheels on the train.
May they last forever. If only the journey never ended. If only it
lasted longer than Kahtib to Yio Chu Kang. If only.
What ever happened to the feeling of endlessness when it passed by that area?
Why does the journey seem so short now?

The Third Cry
Why? What is it you fear? What are you so afraid of?
That you'll never see it through? That it will end faster than you thought it would?
That the things around and inside you will shatter like glass against a stone?
Well and its gone..gone..going..gone...
Cause if you believe its in my soul, i'll say all the words that I know, Just to see if it would show...

Hold on

2007-05-05T00:27:00.000+08:00

Before I get to the part about where I talk about myself, hold on.
After this little rant, I'll fill you in. So take a
Seat and get comfortable.
Tonight I'll share with you a revelation i just had.
A sad thing I happened to hit upon.
Right after those words i read, i realise
Damn, what have I made myself out to be?

Yes you read it right. Too many shots to the head, thats my diagnosis.
Learnt to duck a little too late. Should have kept my hands up.

But we all bleed the same way,
Hold on if you feel like letting go,
Hold on it gets better than you know.

The Lacedaemonian

Here, i Envy the Road

2007-04-26T22:09:00.000+08:00

Like a thousand years,
It feels. Though only days has it been since i saw your face.
Every moment gets more painful to bear.
Slowly the clock ticks, mocking me to when i see you again.

Five days it has been since i last saw you. Five long long days. It can drive one to insanity.
So I do what wrist cutters do. They put their pain into the physical. They take the maddness within and let it drip outside. They let it flow out, drip by drip.

Yes. I made my pain physical. Don't be angry. I let the IN drip out, so I can be SANE. Don't mock me.
Just the thought of being without you, drives me to that extent.
(nice try, if you think i'd cut myself. its gonna take a little more than a few days to get my to breakdown. wahahaha if you fell for that. doesn't mean i'm lying. i put the pain into the physcial. the weight i feel is overbearing. i put that into the physical.duh, weights? my mind goes running wild, sprint anyone? i do let it all drip out. i sweat my pain away. wasn't difficult was it?)
Till I see you again.
Μολὼν λαβέ
(Otherwise known as COME AND TAKE THEM!)

Gone away.

2007-04-18T23:02:00.000+08:00

So I was going through my desk when i found an old piece of paper.

It reads:
"The Lights are blinding, I can barely see you.
The Music, glaring out of the speakers, I can't hear you.
The Smoke, I can't breathe...
Your grip releases, I can't feel you.
Its so cold, don't leave me... Please.
Please please Don't leave me......

I love you "

Thinking back, Its funny. Funny how you went from my everything to my nothing.
Hell In fact i'm glad you're gone. If i were to rewrite it. It'd read please please please DO NOT come back.

Aidios muchacos.

AU-OOOH!

2007-04-15T01:50:00.000+08:00

Just had to dedicate this entry to the Bad-Asses without peer.

Laconians, Lacedaemonians, SPARTANS!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Off topic, its 3 am and i'm bored so i drew this!

ROFL LOL LMAO bye.

Next Stop...

2007-04-14T01:25:00.000+08:00

No codes here. Fuck codes. I'm lazy.

Sitting in the train, the announcement rang louder than my music:"Next Stop, Yio Chu Kang."
Wrong, Next stop middle of no-fucking-where. It takes forever for the train to get to there. Its like a trip to nowhere.

Then it stuck me. Like some twisted joke told to you by a goat on weed. Get the goat away from me please.
Being on train with a goat on weed isn't good. But the goat made me think. Think about no where. Being no where isn't really where you want to be is it?

But then again, there's no where else I'd rather be than to be nowhere with you. Because I realise that when i'm no where with you. I'm no where with you. I'm no where with you.
I'm no where with you. Because if i'm no where with you. I'm Now Here with you. There's really no place I'd rather be than nowhere with you.

Ok so technically it did have a "code". Boo hoo.

The Moral of the story is,
Do not talk to goats on weed on the train.
If you do talk to the goat, don't follow its advice.
If you do listen to its advice, don't write about it.
If you do write about it, don't let others read it.
If you let others read it, remember to tell them to ignore the part about the goat.

Its 1:48 am, I'm signing off. Remember don't talk to goats on weed.

Call me back to the battle...

2007-04-11T01:18:00.000+08:00

And the Spartan will fight. May the death on the battlefield be the greatest glory.
As he crosses the barren field he sees the hordes of enemies. All charging madly towards him.

He raises his shield and points his spear toward the horde. The first to run into his shield is knocked out cold. His commrades suffer a worst fate at the tip of his spear. Their numbers drop quickly at the hands of the Spartan. Yet even he knows he stands no chance agaisnt the large numbers. In the end he is pushed back. Step by step. He is overwhelmed.
Then it happens, he begins to fight like a man possesed. He launches his spear into the middle of the horde and draws his sword.

"TO THE DEATH" He screams. "AU-OOOH!!!"

The number of men dead by his hands are as follows.

23 dead upon engaging with the spartan.
Double that with in the next 5 minutes of fighting.
73 are dead by the time the horde has pushed the spartan back 5 meters.
81 dead by the time they inflict the first wound.
87 dead within 20 minutes of mad fighting.
92 dead by his second wound.
119 dead as he is stabbed multiple times.
120 dead as he breathes his last breath...

Chapter 5

2007-04-01T01:20:00.000+08:00

If i don't live to see tomorrow would that have been long enough?
Cause i have yet to walk my half.
For upon this path lies the Zealot's wrath.

(1) 67 is to 76 as 21 is to:
(2) 1305/45:
(3) (1)X4
(4) "Half the time goes by suddenly you're wise":

The Spartan rides home...

2007-03-09T02:01:00.000+08:00

"Is it time yet?" he asked. His voice transmitted a sadness, only the ears could feel.
"I believe so young one." Was the reply he hoped not to hear. Yet it was the reply he recieved...

"Its time for me to leave. But for you young one, It has just begun. Return to where you most desire to be. Return to battle ground you call the ring. For is that not where your heart belongs?"
()()()
And with those words his teacher left. And the boy knew it was true. In the Ring, was where he wanted to be. To fight like a warrior. To fight like how his teacher taught him to.
In the Ring, The(topaz)coloured lights illuminate the center. In there, the (halo) of colours can make one feel distant. In there where the punches fly, what will carry me through is the thought of a (simple) night. That night when the stars were bright and the moon (shone) a path for me.
And then the bell will ring. And only one will walk out a winner.

There is No beginning Nor end...

2007-02-23T00:00:00.000+08:00

Prince of the Universe Chapter 4: Pass me another eternity

There is only, the Prince of the Universe.
He will never die, he will never go away, he will never be forgotten.
After the worlds have disappeared, after the sun has faded into the darkness of space.
Zen will be attained and lost. Salvation will come and go.
Illusions will turn into reality, reality becomes an illusion.
Millenia upon millenia will pass by like the birds on a summer's day.
Another life will be lost, another love, another day. And the
Heroes will return, to the halls of Valhalla.

And the Prince will whisper into thy ear: " Thank you ".

Spartans never fall...

2007-02-22T23:37:00.001+08:00

If there were only one thing to say before you go, what would it be?
Another time, another life perhaps? or would that
MarStheOlastRbitsRofYhope?
[Michelle]
I will not retreat, I will not surrender. For I am the Spartan.
I will Fight to the very end, to the last breath, to the final drop of blood.
Till there is no more to give, till there is nothing left to fight.
And if you think I have just given up and you've routed me from the field, you are wrong.
Do not walk away so fast, because I'm not giving up yet. Turn around and face my Spear and Shield.
Face me. I am the Spartan.

The Spartan's Dream

2007-02-19T11:52:00.000+08:00

Whispers of a memory, passing by my mind's eye.
Illuminated by a shadow, beneth the water lies,
The emotions of a hopeful soul
Here it awaits a lonely voice to bring him
Out of this darkened prison.
Under the tides, his soul does weep,
To fall in love oh so deep.

Yester-year his spirit was broken, when
Out in the fields his dreams they took.
Under the tides his soul does weep.

for you to save him from the deep

Illusions of Sparta

2007-02-17T16:31:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt the east winds blowing?
Over the sails and the ships, carrying you away to a
Place you most wish you were? to a land of
Illusions or the fields of elsyia? to a dream in which you
Never have to awake from?
Go then, follow the the east wind, to the grey heavens.

Let me show you a field of the dead, all of whom have gone to hades,
Over the mountain passes, beneath the earth's passages, there the
Vacuity of it all can drive one mad. If it were not for a silent
Emotion, if not for the thought of you...

Whispers of a Warrior Poet

2007-01-23T10:31:00.000+08:00

Down beneath the freezing waters lie an
Evil unspeakable, waiting in the darkness for the one,
A prince of bloodless descent and limitless power
Twelve millennia he has awaited the return of the prince
Hoping for the day, he would be free to strike his vengence.

Just an Ounce of You

2007-01-07T10:22:00.000+08:00

Just here, standing by the sidelines, watching you go by. wishing for
One moment with you, to be yours, to hold your hands. to gaze into
Your eyes day after day. And if I
Could only have that, I think i would have found the secret of
Eternity.

2006-11-20T00:13:00.000+08:00

Burn away the shell we call our body and fly into eternity.
'Yond the galaxies and the barren path ways.
Enter the halls of time and see forever in a singular moment.

Has my heart stopped beating already?
And never would it fade away i thought... Perhaps i thought wrong.
Lo' I cry to thee, for a mistake such as i have made.
I wish forgiveness from thee, oh never mind...
Quietly i shall walk away. Don't miss me, its
As if i was never there...

I'd still like to fly away.
Soar across the blue seas and
Oceans of green.
Remember me, cause i might not come back
Remember now, cause i don't want to come back
Yesterday was just a dream i had of today...

Can i dream about you?

2006-11-13T22:38:00.000+08:00

Why do i miss you like i do? There's something missing in this shadowed hue.
A longing in my heart, its flowing through my blood.
To touch your hands once again, to gaze into your glowing eyes.
Can i dream about you?

Can i dream about you? Close my eyes and fly right to you?
Meet me up in the clouds, Shout to me out loud,
Can i carry you there? To a place where no one cares?
And can i dream about you?

Prince of the Universe, a prince no more

2006-10-09T17:02:00.000+08:00

Each day, i grow weaker, Its like being drained. Without you here, i can't hold myself together.
I'm losing it. Fucking losing it. Wait, No I've fucking lost it.
Why? Everyday its like i'm not here anymore... I'm Fading, just fading into the wind. Every Day feels like a "Goodbye Cruel World" Day.

Something is haunting me. Its not letting me go, its not letting me live. You can call it a driving force. Its driving me mad.
A long time ago, I promised someone something. I promised that someone, we'd live together forever. I promised we'd be in love forever. I promised plans for a future, in which each day would be better than the last.
Now a promise i couldn't keep is haunting me.
It stirs in me, it plays with my mind, just to remind me its still there...
Just to taunt me.

Prince of the Universe, Chapter 2

2006-10-07T10:40:00.000+08:00

Dragon Slayer

Through the crackle of the camp fire, the mighty warrior was boasting: "Arh! tis was only last week , 6 dragons i had slain! And i still had time for the virgins i had saved! Har har har!"
The roar of laughter grew around the camp fire as each man shared their martial prowness.

All but one... A man whose face was hidden by his cloak and his soul, hidden by shadow. When it finally came his turn to tell his tall tales of adventure, he just sat there silently... "Why don't you tell us what great deeds one such as you have done?!" shouted one of the warriors. "Har! I bet ye a silver coin he hasn't so much as hunted a boar!"

Hollered another. Once again the roar of laughter grew... Then the man stood up, and the camp fell silent... "Thy Deeds are nothing... Ye foolish knights. Does thou imagine that thy deeds are worth its words in gold?! Nay i tell you... Thy deeds are but a grain of sand in the beaches of eternity. No one shall remember thy deeds for more than thy lifespan!"

The warriors looked at each other, shocked at what the man had to say. But before they could object, he continued. "Lo, the dragons that roam the skys are easy to slay. I've been slaying them since i was a boy. But the real dragons, are the dragons in thy soul. The ones that burn ye heart and tear it to pieces. Even one such as i, cannot slay them. And so, every day i am tormented by the dragons in my soul. They never die, they never go away. Tell me brave knight, How does one kill a foe that cannot be killed? The dragons never go away. But more always come. They come till your soul is filled and filled till it burst open."

With that, the man turned around and walked off into the night. Shadows enveloping him as he disappeared. The warriors and knights in the camp were shocked silent and there they sat... Till night turned to day and day to night... Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Months turned to years and years turned to centuries.

Prince of the Universe, Chapter1

2006-10-06T08:25:00.000+08:00

"And so you tear my mind with crossing thoughts,
For the wishes of love and companionship are lost to the droughts.
Lie to you, i cannot, for it could destroy our rapport.
To answer you i have failed, for that my regret is unbearable.
So once more i will pick up my sword and head to the lands of my lord,
because i can't be yours..."

He grabbed on the horse's saddle and with a sweep mounted the horse.
Glancing back one last time, he smiled at her. But in his heart, he was filled with sadness.
Off into the night he rode, never to see her again...

2006-09-20T11:03:00.000+08:00

I wish i could be,
Every little thing you wanted,
Every little thing you wanted, all the time... sometimes...

Eden

2006-09-19T23:46:00.001+08:00

Would you take my hand, if i offered it to you?
And follow me, to a place oh so very far away?
Where we can be together, forever? A place
where the rivers never run dry and the ground
feels like cotton. To a place we can watch the world go by,
where we never need to worry. To a world, made just for you and me.

Take my hand, don't be afraid. Just close your eyes.
And listen words, oh so wise.
Think of the flowers and the trees. Picture the birds,
singing for you and me. See the Sunrise from the horizon's
edge. Now open your eyes, we're here.
Together Forever, is what we can be. Your Choice it be.
I'll wait here. For you i will. Because a thought away is all this place is.
A thought away is our paradise...

Untill then,
A Shard i will remain.

Forever Underneath, Crying to Kill YOU

2006-09-14T12:41:00.000+08:00

For once i'm not going to write a story. Happy? Well, Fuck you.
Geez... Where did my holidays go... 4 weeks just disappeared. Couple of days left, thats all i got...

It seems like i've wasted my holidays training. 2 Fights cancled just like that.
One because i was too light and another because some Muay Thai bastards are being cowards.
You fucking pussies, you're supposed to be representing "THE" toughest striking art in town. So Fuck You too. Next time you hold a competition, I'm going to fuck you up under your own rules. BITCHes.

But the worst part is, it feels like i barely spent anytime with the people i call my friends.
But for the times we did spend together, i thank you for it. Seoul Garden, Geylang and Sentosa was a bomb! I fucking loved it.
Seoul Garden:
Man I never thought i could stuff so much in so little time into my belly. Best part about the food there is it doesn't make you feel full like you want to puke. You barely even feel full, the food just won't go down anymore. So you know you're physcially full and not "full" like when you eat japanese food.
Btw, Coffee Chicken Sucks Balls. Remember that.
Which made them chasing us out a good thing.

Geylang:
Hahaha. Whose bright idea was it? None other than Douglas. Heh... Talk about eye opener.
Never been to Geylang till douglas brought the team there. There was so much food there. It was steam boat restaurant after restaurant, too bad we just came from seoul garden.
Then came the scantly clad women and she-mans. There were lines and lines of these women, one of them tried to get my attention by saying "Hey handsome." That or she was talking to nabil. Get your dirty ass away from meee...... We must have walked through at least 7 districts.
Aqilah got scared half way through, so i put my arm around her, comforted her and acted big &macho. Woooo?!Right, Anyways we passed by more scantly clad women and passed a few tables selling "VCD/DVD" not sure which, But you ought to know what they were selling.As we walked out, there we men selling Cigarettes for $5 a pack. Damnit i should have bought 2.Headed Back to the MRT and so ends the journey to geylang.

Sentosa:
Two Words, Sun Burn. Even now my skin's still peeling. But it doesn't hurt anymore.Did the usual shit, Built sandcastles, Swam, caught fish. Played Soccer(ok that wasn't usual) and badminton. Damn that was fun. I so want to go to sentosa again with you peeps. The sun burn was all worth it thanks to you guys and gals.Had dinner and headed home... Braced myself for the pain of the sunburn, Or the pain of friendship, whichever tickles your fancy.

Hear ye, Hear ye.To the memories that we share, Then, now and later.I will hold on to it till the day i die. For you all hold a very dear and specialplace in my heart. Where in my heart you say? Its hard to point with one finger,its the whole of my heart, you see.To the fun and joy we had, I won't forget.Till we meet again another time, till our laughter fills the sky.I promise you this, as the birds do fly, we will never say goodbye,because, true friendship never dies.

My Tribute to W16D. The greatest class I have ever known, in my 18 years of life.

Sorrow of a Willow

2006-09-11T01:56:00.000+08:00

A blue Streak of lightning shot out from the sky,
Tearing through a willow tree.

Just like how i'm being torn.
On the one hand all i care for is my happiness,
On the other hand all i want is your happiness.
Because that is something i can never promise you.
Because as a human i am bound by failure.

Can you tell me what to do?
I am never so lost as i am now.
I am so torn like that willow tree.

If i had a third hand, i would worry even more.
Are you just another passing glance?
Or is there something out there for us?
Am I the man i am today, because of what i think we have?
Or because that man is who i am?

Am I motivated by my illusions?
Or because i truely care?

I am so lost... so lost...

Hallowed Sky

2006-09-09T22:59:00.000+08:00

There he was again. The man with wings.
Shot down a hundred times, yet everytime he would get up and fly again.
Blood stains his wings and his eyes are covered in tears.
But the rain will wash them away.
His wings are stained because he was shot down.
But he cries for a different reason.
He cries because he knows he can never be with the one he loves.
Because he doesn't want to hurt her. Because he believes that being so
far away, is whats best for her.
He loves her smile, but he knows he is not the one who makes her smile.
He loves her laughter, but he knows he is not the one who makes her laugh.

Time to fly away from this dream of mine. Because in this dreamland of mine,
you are always smiling and you are always laughing. And in this dreamland, i
want to laugh and smile with you.
Then i realise
I am only human, humans make each other laugh and smile.
But they can also make you cry and hurt you.
And i don't want to see you cry.
Thats why i'm flying away... so far away.

Red doesn't rub off...

2006-09-06T00:24:00.000+08:00

After the flames are gone and the embers are fading, all i'm left is red.
Quietly melting away My skin scorched.
Is this what being reborn is like?
Letting go of what i've lost, grow up and
Accept my failures. Ready to go through it all again.
Head foward, never looking back. UP UP and AWAY!

Will this just past by like the last? Does my heart decive me?
Why do i allow myself to be blindsided so often? Should I
be seeing with my eyes and not my heart? Or should i not
see at all?
Because my eyes lie to me and my heart flutters,i can trust neither.
But, Can i Trust you?

The Dreamer

2006-08-31T10:37:00.000+08:00

Say hello to the girl of the stars and moon for me,
Because i'm not sure how to.
Can you tell me how to get to her?
How far is it to the stars and the moon?
How do i tell her how i feel?

But when you get there,
Could you tell her i dream of her laughter every day?
Could you tell her, her smile makes me smile?
And could you ask her if she would one day be mine?

And i need to ask you a favour,
Please help this dreamer to wake up.
Because i know that i'll never make it up there.
Because i should stay on the ground,
the stars and moon aren't for me...

But can you tell me, how far away to the stars and moon?
And tell me, was that beautifully spoken?

One Arm Fighting

2006-07-09T23:27:00.000+08:00

A little boy once lost his left arm in an accident, but still wanted to learn judo. He finally found a
judo master, but the master would only teach him one move and one move only.

So he drills endlessly in that one move. 3 years later, his master tells him, "now you are ready for competition."
In the preliminary rounds, he won easily using only that one move. As he moved through the octos, quarters, and semifinals, that one move also allowed him to win effortlessly.

Finally, it was the final match. His opponent was much bigger and stronger and looked a lot healthier.

Yet, with that one move, the boy defeated him and became champion.On the way back, the boy asked his master, "How was I able to win with only one technique?"The master replied,
"Two reasons.
1. That technique is one of the most difficult to master.
2. To my knowledge, the only counter to that technique is to grab the opponent's left arm."

Your worst enemy is yourself. Muhahahaha... loser....

2006-06-27T13:29:00.000+08:00

(A Re-Write)
My worst enemy is myself. How true.
If the enemy of my enemy is my ally,
does that mean my enemy is actually my ally?
Since after all there should be no worse enemy than myself.

Too bad for my enemy though, cause he won't live long. So by destroying my ally
who is actually my enemy, i just destroyed another enemy...
But you'll never win yourself... You'll win but then you'll lose something else.

Sometimes when we win, we lose.

As the punches fly and the world around you start spinning,
how do you get the courage and strength to go on fighting?
Because its how hard you can punch. Its how hard you can get hit.
And keep on fighting, and just keep on fighting.
Where do youfind the strength to fight till the bell rings?
Is it the fear of your opponent? Is it because the beast rages in you?
How do you beat up another human being and go home proud about it?
Maybe, its because there can be only one...

Your failure is my success...

Tales of Horror and Harticus

2006-06-18T23:55:00.000+08:00

From the Harticus texts:

Omega 11:32

An eye for an eye, you can try but you'll never have my eyes.I'll blind you and hold you. I'll be there holding you, so tight, so close.I swear you will suffocate you'll gasp for air and a moment after you are deadi'll let go...You want to know what it feels like to be helpless? Helpless as you watch the ones you love die? You can try, you can try, but the dark cloud still devours them. You can only sit there and watch as theystop breathing, nothing you could have done would have made a difference. All you can do is sit and watch. The evil that burns knows no mercy. You see them dying, you see their pain, their pain is your pain.Their death, will be your death, as you take your life, in the sorrow and agony that you could do nothing.Your life began with a scream. I will make it end as such.

-Fictar Enoch, The Great Agony

The fall of Michael

2006-06-17T11:24:00.000+08:00

How do you sleep at night? Knowing the first thing you see when you close your eyes are those visions.
Those horrible visions, Visions that make nightmares feel like dreams.
How? How do you sleep when night after night, all you get are these visions?
They play with you. Mess with your mind.
They twist your fantasies into fear. They make your greatest pleasure your worst nightmare.

When that other world we call dreamland, wages war on itself. When what is supposed to bring you joy, brings you horror. A place where the ones you love the most, hate you the most. A Place where neither Angel nor Demon dare tread. Where the reality seems better than this.
A place where you never get to say you words you mean to... You never get to say "I love you" Or "I'm Sorry".

Then again, do you really want to Dream?
Cause the sweetest dreams still end. The dream of love, money, joy or peace still has to end. You still have to wake up and when you do, dreamland closes for the day and you're tossed out of the park. The joy you thought you had is shattered and you return to the world of reality.

So why even sleep? When your reward for your trouble, is sorrow. But how do you keep awake? You have to sleep eventually. Dreamland is calling you back... There is no escape...

The Chronicles of Michael (pt5)

2006-06-08T18:51:00.000+08:00

From the Book of Michael.

Speak.

Lord, give me the strength to accept what i cannot change.

Like a Diamond behind a shop window,
Like Gold in the vaults of a bank.
Like Freedom on the outside of your prison cell,
Like a Lover on the other side of the world.

You can't reach it, no matter how hard you try.
For some, it is the first thing on your mind when you wake up,(Genuine)
The only thing on your mind as you fall asleep. (Sincere)
A reason to get up in the morning, (my heart skips a beat when i see you)
A reason to go to bed at night.
But you can't get to it, no matter how hard you try.
Your every effort, futile. Your every attempt fails.

So you relegate yourself to the side lines.
You sit in the silence, contented to look.
You feel like something is missing, But at the same time, you're filled with happiness.
You smile, knowing this is as far as you'll go and
you smile, knowing this is all you'll need.
(Sylid, forgive me, i'm only human. My heart is stronger than my mind.)

And lord, give me the strength to change what i cannot accept.

I won't sit there. And watch the world go by.
I'll break that glass window and blow open the vault.
I'll escape from prison and fly a plane.
(For you i'll do anything. I'm that Stupid.)
Except Give up.
I'm the Terminator, i'll fight till the end. Till there is nothing left of me to fight.

-Michael

The Chronicles of Michael (pt.4)

2006-06-04T17:53:00.000+08:00

Confession of a Fallen one

"Don't Jump... Don't jump... " Shouted a voice from behind him.
"I'll push you!" roared the voice just before he felt a hand to his back. His foot slipped and the rocks beneath his feet crumbled. He fell, faster and faster, down into the great chasm. Once again pulled down into the great darkness... (I have to be honest... you probably know this, but)
He knew that voice... But that was a long time ago. He knew what the voice wanted, all it wanted was revenge... revenge agaisnt him, revenge for something he didn't even do.
(i'll just say it anyway)
"No, Not like this... Not like this." He whispered to himself, He curled into a ball and then stretched himself. Out came a pair of wings from his back, then he focused, "I won't fall again. I won't..." (How can something so wrong, feel so right?)
He flapped his wings , fast and furious he rose out of the chasm. There was the source of the voice, on one side of the chasm. Then he looked to the other side... What great genuine beauty lay before him. What he had longed for, the past eternity, and this one...
"An eye for an eye, makes the whole world blind." He thought to himself. "Forget it... Your not worth my time anymore." (I think i have feelings for you, yes you, the girl)
He looked one final time upon the being that pushed him and he muttered "So long..."
Then he flew, to that beauty which words could not describe and eyes could not be set upon.
And his soul no longer burned, for beauty had calmed the beast... (named Genuine and Sincere)

The Chronicles of Michael(pt.3)

2006-05-28T13:05:00.000+08:00

You only see what you want to...

do you see the man? lying on the old streets, he's not looking For a quarter. he's not there because he's poor. he's there because his son doesn't want him. Like a christmas tree at the start of spring. do You see him?
or Are you too caught up in your misery to see his misery? Will you drop a coin, or do you drop to your feet? if he Asked You to sit down and listen, Would you have the tIme? or are you caughT up in tHe rush? why, why do you rush? is there something you have to do that you will not slow down for your fellow Man? why do you fEel there is some race you need to win? who will you stop for? a stranger? a friend? your lover? your child? will you stop for god? will you stop if someone can't keep up? or do you run them over, like the way you've been thought?

The Chronicles of Micheal (prelude)

2006-05-22T17:42:00.000+08:00

Prelude

"The light will lead you, youlwilloknowvtheiwaynwhengyou see it." he could still hear the orcale say. Her words to him were like a whisper now, slowly fading into the wind.
"What if there is no light? What if there is no path for me to see?" Michael thought to himself. He was growing weary, every step he took was like a walking a mile. There seemed to be no end to the dense forest, the sun had disappeared over the horizon hours ago and he was all alone, cold and dark. He prayed, asking for strength to go on. He had to go on, if he stopped god knows what manner of wild beast will seek to tear him apart.
He knelt down for a moment. Putting his hands together he closed his eyes.

As he opened his eyes he looked around him, he was still in the forest. But something was different. It wasn't dark anymore, It was like the sky was bleached whiter than white. He could see clearly in the forest. He got off his knees and began walking. He could see a cobble stone road in the distance, it was far off, but he could make it. He had to.

And so after an hours' travel he arrived at the yellow brick road. It had two paths, and upon each path was a message chipped into the road. One said, "Where this road goes no one knows." And the other, "Walk me and i shall return you to where you were."
And he looked upon the two paths and thought for a moment, before continuing on.
He mumbled to himself: " You would know why i chose the road i chose, if you knew where i came from..."

Chronicles of Michael(pt.2)

2006-05-20T01:16:00.000+08:00

One more step to no return, One more step to flight...

To the West ye fools. Art Thou Blind or Art Thou stupid? Ye infestation, Ye vermin of horid plagues. Travel West....

Tonight he flies, cause he can wait no more. He sees the rose on the other side of the chasm.
Aim, Run, Jump. The leap of faith, the path of
Kings.The yellow brick road. The Road of the anicents.
Everything else matters not. All he can see is the rose before him. There are no thorns behind, no fire, no pain just the rose.

Mighty is his jump, swift are his legs. He can't reach the other side. Not without her help.
Yesterday he watched her from the otherside, today he can wait no longer. Now or never,
His future is now. His fate in his hands. Hecan'tsitand watch the beauty go by he can't watch it fade.
A Crumble of dirt rolls under his feet. Dust rises with each step he takes. He gains speed for the jump.
No way back. Only the chasm stands in his way. He can't make it alone, that much he knows
Do the gods smile upon him? Or will he fall eternally? Who will save the one who can't save himself?

The Chronicles of Michael(pt.1)

2006-05-18T20:54:00.000+08:00

Enim Eb, The Steps to the Runway...

Will you be my shoulder? When i'm gray and older? Promise me tomorrow starts with you getting high...

There across the chasm, there it was. A sight to behold. It caught his eye and it would hold on to it forever. For an eternity he stood there, gazing at the rose he would never hold. His eyes would never move and he knew his would never feel the softness of the rose. But he watched it from across the chasm and that brought a painful joy to his heart. At least he felt joy...

Deep the chasm was,
If he could he would fly but alas his wings were
Long gone. A Sacrifice he had made, an eon ago, wasit worth it?
Yes, no,a lifetime ago, he would have said yes. He didn't know anymore.
So across the chasm he remained, never able to grasp the rose in his hand...

Beautiful it was, glowing ever brightly in the
Evening light, the glow would never leave,
Morning, noon or night. There it stood, leaving hope
In his heart. A joy he would
Never know in the rest of his eternities. Some how, just gazing was
Enough for him. And there he would remain for eternity.

I think i know now.

2006-03-17T12:50:00.000+08:00

I think i know now, what you tried to say to me. And how you suffered for you sanity.

I'm sorry, i know much much more words can hurt a person, hurt a person even more than a sword can. Perhaps i'm the one who needs to grow up. I thought i had answers, all i actually have are questions. I'm sorry. I can't take back my words, that much i know.
I'll leave you be. But before i go, let me say thank you.

Thanks for opening my eyes. I was blind, but now i see. I think i understand the 2 of you now. I think i know what he is. For real this time.

So now i'll fly, fly far away. Cause i need to grow up, and you need to patch up your hurt. Our love will keep us close, even though we're apart. I'll see you then, when your all better, and i'm all grown up.
Love,
Me.

Time is but an illusion, It is not how long we've spent that decides how mature one is. But by what we've done.

I've been living a lie...

2006-02-25T10:43:00.000+08:00

I've been living a lie you see, I thought it wouldn't hurt anyone. I've been living a lie you see, I thought was true. I've been living a lie you see, I thought i was Invincible. I thought if i believed it enough, it'd actually be true.
I've been living a lie you see, I'm who i thought i was.
When I'm hurt, I pull back. Like when you accidently touch a hot stove. It makes it seem like nothing's wrong, but in fact i'm scared. I'm in pain. I'm cryin'. I'm shivering like a baby.
When I'm hurt I pull back. I make it seem so easy, I make it seem like nothing happened. But I'm really like a child in mall, who can't find her mommy. I'm so scared.
The last time i was hurt, i pulled away. I kept silent and bore the pain. And i pulled a bit farther. So far away that i nearly lost you.
I won't keep silent now, I don't wish to lose you again. We need to talk, you see i've been living a lie. A lie i thought to be innocent. A lie, that I didn't know would hurt you. A lie that i thought would provide me an armor. It only left me more open. My lie hurt everyone. I'm sorry.

Will you talk with me? Will you hear the words that come out of my mouth? Will you be there for me when i need you most? Or will you run away? Run when i need you most?
Will you sit beside me? Or will you walk away?

Cause i need you to listen. But if you won't sit with me. Then i have nothing that i want to say to you. But listen to these 3 words. Even if you never hear another thing else i say. Listen to these 3 words; "I LOVE YOU".

You dont....

2006-02-20T00:07:00.000+08:00

You don't have time for me, but you have time for him.
You don't have the energy for me, but you have the energy to dance.
You don't care how i feel, but you care for someone else.
You don't love me, you love someone else.

The Swords swing as the men fought. "Her honor, i will defend till my death" the young man shouted.
"Indeed" the older man calmly nodded.
With a flick of his wrist, the older man had disarmed the young one. Like an elder lion, victoriously standing over his new prize. A thrust of his arm plunged the sword into the young man's heart, only the thoughts of his love, keeping him alive.

A smile then a shudder, came across the older man. Like a lion, he had just won his meat, the younger man's lady. Then something brought him back to reality, the cold shocking pain in his chest was hard to ignore. The younger man had a dagger somewhere. The sneaky bastard had got him.
"Never will thy have her" barely mouthing out the words. "Defend her to my death i have."
"I'm sorry we'll never get to spend the rest of our lives together, but at least thou art safe."
To that his love replied "No, we won't get to spend our lives together. But smile, we have our afterlife."
And jumped his lover did, over the walls of Schmidt. His spirit caught her and together they flew up to the sky.

Blade for a thorn.

2006-02-15T09:07:00.000+08:00

[GO AWAY, Don't REad this. get lost][ Harticus will get you if i don't]

I distance myself from the roses because i know it pains you to see me walk amoung their thorns. What hurts you hurts me, thus I choose to forsaken all roses but thee. So much so, that I shant even breathe any rose but thee.
Why? My poor heart yearns to know, Why does thou choose to frolic in the bed of blades? It kills me to see thy body cut agaisnt the edges. Why does thou continue to let my heart remain in agony? Did i not protect thee valiantly enough? Did i cut thee by mistake? Why does thou stand strong in their defense, but ready to break my steel at a moment's notice? It breaketh my heart, but i hide it from thee, it tortures my mind, but i hide it form thee, my soul it chains, but i hide it from thee.
I shall remain silent, not a finger shall i raise in protest. I guess, as long as thou art happy, i've done my duty's call.

Yours truly... Yesterday, today, tomorrow

2006-01-12T00:09:00.000+08:00

Then, Now, Later. From the big bang to Thy kindgom come. Left or right.Black or white. Ying Or yang. Heaven or Hell.

Endless fields stretch on for miles, the grass is dried and dead.The sun is merciless, My feet are scarred by the blisters of the sand.Each step is pure agony. The grass can no longer give any comfort to the weary soul.Yet i keep walking, Its killing me, but there something thats driving me.It pushes me on, to walk the barren desert.I stumble and fall but my body drags itself on the ground. I can't stop now.My strength is drained, all thats left is of me are flesh and bones.Yet my body still moves. I won't stop. My fingers pull me along the brown grass.They snap and break as i pull myself foward. Then alas, my body gives way.I turn to the sky and a single tear slides down my cheek.My mouth opens to mutter words my body can't speak... I'm standing there, looking at my
body. The torture it had been through was for naught.Then there you are. You bend over and lay a single kiss on my lips. And i feel my soul
sucked back into my body. I can't see clearly, but i can hear the thunder, i see the flash
of lightning as it blasts across the sky. Something hits my head. Again, Again. I open my
eyes and it is raining. The Fields of brown are gone. In its place stands the green, green
grass of home. There i see your face, again. It gives me strength, i can stand now, i can
run, I can fly. And fly i do, I fly home to you...

I'm Yours for this eternity. And the next, And the one after that, and the one after that, and the one after that and every eternity on.
Hell or High water, Tornado or Terrorist, World or Without. We'll never be further than a thought away. In my heart, in my mind, in my soul, there you are. There's spot there, Just for you. There, we'll never be apart. No one, nothing could ever take that spot or make it go away.

I LOVE YOU!<3
Happy Valentine's day my love.

The Fall

2005-12-20T02:32:00.000+08:00

A shadow darts from the sky into the light, an angel glowing like the stars. His face remains hidden by the his bodies' glow and covered by his hood. The calm is suddenly interrupted by a bolt of fire rushing towards him, a wave of his mighty sword deflects the fire bolt. A cloud burns away as a demon enters the mortal plane. The Demon dives at the Angel with his leathery wings propelling him toward his target. With a whip of his wings the angel dodges the demon. Realising he has missed, he halts and sets his gaze upon the angel once more. He rushes again toward the angel, This time the angel Charges forward to meet the demon in mortal combat. He pulls his sword back, ready to strike at the demon. But before they collide, a sharp pain cuts through the angel's wings. Before he can realise what happened, the demon slams into him. Sending him falling toward a never ending drop. A drop into darkness. As he looks up, he sees his so called "Comrade" holding the bow that shot him down, Shaking hands with the demon. The angel knows what lies below. He knows what awaits him at the end of the tunnel. He knows that he will not like it. But he also knows that before he can rise up again, he must first fall...

Chi

2005-11-25T17:15:00.000+08:00

Chi, Qi, Ki, Internal Strength, Inner Energy.So many names, all essentially the same thing. In the decades past since the western world discovered such a concept, there have been so many descriptions of Chi. From some sort of mystical energy that allows each being to live to the very force the Jedi used to fight evil in star wars. There have been so many different interpretations to outright bastardizations of the meaning of CHI.Here’s my take on this mystical “Chi”.What it isn’t:It’s not a Jedi power that allows one to control the minds of others, Push objects telekinetically or choke people without touching them.(In a recent National geographic documentary “Is it Real?” A skeptic stood up to a so-called master of “chi”. Try as the master may, he couldn’t push down the skeptic no matter how many positions he tried. He later gave excuses such as the, skeptic kept moving his toes which made it difficult to aim his “chi”.)It’s not some magical energy that so-called “masters” have been able to tap which gives them skills like Cancerous palm or Killer dragon fireball big toe attack.It’s not some energy that shaolin monks redirect so that a hit to anywhere but the head does no damage or hurt to the monk.(Shaolin monks do, do conditioning exercises similar to shin rubbing of muay thai and also do body conditioning.)What it is:Chi would be better described as the mechanics and workings of the body as a whole. If you punch with only the force of your arm, it’s not going to be a very good punch (as most boxers will tell you), a jab at best, not matter how much you train that arm it will only be a jab. It is not until you add the legs, torso and shoulder does the punch become a hook, uppercut or corkscrew. Finally, its not until you add you brains into the equation that the punch will connect, possibly leading to a knockout.The one-inch punch is most often used to show one’s mastery of chi. The one-inch punch isn’t a parlor trick. It isn’t the result of a little force on a brittle piece of wood. It’s a demonstration of how the body working as a whole can make the best of that 1 inch to generate enough force to break a block of wood.When you see shaolin monks pressed against spears, it isn’t the chi forming a “shield” around them. It’s the years upon years of hard work that they’ve put in to ensure that the steel will not pierce their flesh. It’s also got to do with the fact that their spears are made with highly flexible wood that helps dissipate the energy. Why do you think they tense up just before they get struck? It is their intricate know how of which muscle and ligament points will not allow the spear through and training those points to toughen them.It seems to me that chi was a master’s way of describing the body working as a whole, to the average layman of a by-gone era. Why bother spending hour after hour describing to each idiot who passed by, how the he was able to break bricks with his bare hands, when he would rather be training. Because when mastery is a never ending journey to perfection, you got a long way to go...

The True meaning of Mastery

2005-11-16T16:34:00.000+08:00

You can work your ass off 25 hours a day, 8 days a week for 4 years and i still do not believe that a person can be called a "master" its simply not enough time for a human being. You can eat, sleep and live what ever art you do. But I honestly do not believe that one can be called a master his art in such a short time(anything less than 4 yrs), much less master the art itself. Like i said, the Black Belt is supposed to the be holy grail of holy grails that each and every martial artist hopes to attain in his life. If a Kid can reach what was once the pinnacle of MAs, that does not speak well of truely deserving and skilled black belters. If we really want to see MAs enjoy the respect it had prior to the outbreak of MCdojos, then alot of legit schools need to buck up.Mastery is supposed to mean a high/the highest level attainable in a given subject.MARTIAL ARTS.So what if the kid can perform every kata to the inch? So what if his kicks have lightning Bolts flying out of them? So what if his punch can fell trees?The kid has only covered the Martial aspect of his art! A kid is highly unlikely to have developed the Social skills, brain capacity and wisdom to fully understand, appriciate and comprehend the Spritiual and ART aspect of his Martial Art. The Wisdom to understand that its not only about the fighting, its not only about the skill one posseses. A kid could probably recite his/her art's motto/rules/goals better than she can the pledge. But that doesn't mean they understand what they just said.
True mastery lies in knowing and putting into practise both aspects of MARTIAL ARTS. Yes that takes something like 20 years, but that is the true meaning of mastery. Understanding and applying every concept you learn. That was the time taken by many of our ancestors took to being true black belts. Nowadays too many look for quick graftification. Learning is not a quick and easy process, it never was and never will be. Mastery requires many many years of hard work, sweat, blood and sacrifice. No 9yr old i know of has that type of discipline. Much less the power to do it in 3 years.
The TRUE meaning of the Black belt, is a White belt by the years of training, Years of Sweat, toil and blood that is dirtied. Every speck of dust represents one step you took toward mastery. Yes that is one F%^&ing dirty belt, but that is one black belt well earned, earned to the true meaning of mastery.

The mystery Unfolds... ...

2005-01-05T15:31:00.000+08:00

Nothin in life is ever clear. Even if it seems so. When Shardakar split into a million or more shards, So too were the shards of knowledge made unclear. The key is to dechiper. Anything you want, can be interpreted to mean everything. Interpretation is based largely on personal experience, this is why two people never look at an object exactly the same way. Take what you will. Use what you may.
May the shards shine upon you.

And so it begins......

2004-12-30T16:45:00.000+08:00

With every beginning, one understands that it will eventually end. From whence we came, we shall return. Nothing is Eternal, yet nothing is set in stone. Not even Eternity. Unless it is ... Unless it isn't.